Dear world, I will never be the loudest person in the room or the person with nice pyjamas.
Someone with nice pyjamas
This blog idea came to me as I was raking through my drawers trying to find a pyjama top to slob out in and the only thing I could find was a baggy, paint stained t-shirt that used to belong to my boyfriend. Which I’m currently wearing. Who are these people who have these lovely, silken pyjama sets? Do they only wear them at certain times, like when they want to look cute? Or are those their full time pyjamas? Even if I did have a nice set (I panic bought some for a hen party recently because I was too ashamed to take mine) they just get covered in fake tan / food / puppy drool anyway. Anyone with me?
Someone who doesn’t wear make-up to work
I admire people who are so laidback / confident / just not fussed that they can emerge from the depths of the weekend on a Monday morning without even a brush of mascara on their lashes. Or people whose skin actually looks OK without a layer of foundation – preferably Estee Lauder’s Double Wear in Desert Beige, thank you very much. I couldn’t. I look awful. Not like I loathe how I look without make-up awful, just I’d prefer not to be in a professional context without it. Perhaps I have just been sold self-loathing and inadequacy by the double agents for the patriarchy, to quote Jameela Jamil’s phrase, but I do just like wearing make-up, and I’m OK with that.
A carb avoider
Or someone who cuts out whole food groups in general, such as sugar, dairy, etc. Of course it’s a completely different story if you have an allergy or intolerance, but half the time the argument rolled out by a-list celebrities for avoiding carbs, when they’re really just trying to cut calories, is that your body has difficulty processing meat and carbs in the same meal so it’s best to keep them separate. What utter nonsense. This is why I have no time for the diet industry. Stop telling us lies and passing it off as scientific facts.
Someone who isn’t a feminist
Someone said they weren’t a feminist to me at work the other day. I was shocked. It was just last week that we passed the day in the year that leaves women effectively working for free for the rest of the year, due the gender pay gap. Why would any woman be ok with that? It’s always disappointing when people have a warped idea of what a feminist is, and it always irritates me when celebrities play into that. Lana Del Rey, I’m looking at you. We should all be like Andy Murray, who is a vocal feminist and is paving the way for more men and women to be proud of being one.
The loudest person in the room
I’m an introvert and I feel like I’ve spent a lot of time feeling bad about that. Example: I was a manager of a team in my last job and I felt a lot of time feeling guilty that I wasn’t this all singing all dancing extrovert; this cookie cutter definition of what a manager or a leader should be. But you know what, I did a fucking good job. I did the things that introverts do; I listened to who our product’s audience was, I made key changes to the brand, and I increased our commercial success. I even won an award for it. All the things that the extrovert person who did the job before me never had the insight to do. So there you go. I’m done feeling bad about it, I’m an introvert and I’m proud of it.
Is there anything you’re not and you’re OK with?